Hello to all today:

Well my computer is seriously fighting to stay alive! Why is it that our computers only feel the need to screw up when we need them the most? School starts on Wed. and I have a feeling that I need my computer to start freekin working!!!!!!

Anyway, I have had so much fun reading other posts that I have neglected my own blog. Well, its that and the fact that I have been watching the news lately and I have so much to post about that I am attempting to calm down before I write anything too rash....

....hope all is well with others!

Thanks for stopping by:
Nik

Hello to all today:

I've read many of your truths, and from personal experiences I have come to the conclusion that many people do not like creepy crawlers! Personally, bugs don't bother me (unless they are ticks or leeches). I wanted to share with you guys some of my 'pets'. I cannot kill any animal on purpose, so more often than not I have allowed many bugs live happily with me in my home, mostly they are spiders and these are their stories.
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-BOB-
Bob was my first 'pet' spider. He lived with me for one day. I was writing a paper one morning (well late one night rather) while in high school. I saw Bob crawling by me on my bed. Since Bob was a large spider, I was immediately afraid. I did not want to kill him, nor did I want to touch him. Since I could not awake my Father to take him outside, I decided to grab a mason jar and take him hostage. There we slept, Bob in his prison, and me staring at the jar on my bed, afraid to close my eyes too long. The next morning, I asked my Father to set Bob free (I felt he had served his time under the jar). Dad immediately told me that Bob had died. I guess he was not receiving oxygen under the jar. So I guess Bob was my first murder. Poor Bob!
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-Bonnie & Clyde-
Bonnie and Clyde were my favorite pet spiders. They came to live with me in 2002. The couple lived in the corner of my living room. They were nice and considerate of all my guests, they never bothered anyone, and mostly never ran into hiding. One day I noticed Bonnie was a lot more active than Clyde. After a few days of intense watching I concluded Clyde never moved! Bonnie would often crawl on the ceiling to the middle of the room, and often attended to their webbed home. After a little research, I was shocked to realize that Clyde was not a male spider at all! Bonnie was soon to be a mother, and Clyde was her egg sack! Needless to say when I told boyfriend of my findings, there was no saving Bonnie or Clyde. I mourned their passing, but really I was not prepared for the burden of all the baby spiders I would undoubtedly would have soon. Poor Bonnie and Clyde!
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-Fire Light- AKA Fire-
Fire was my experiment during 03! Since the last few 'pets' I had invested in lately had ended in despair, I was letting them free instead of attempting the 'living in peace' theory. However, when I met Fire, I just couldn't set her free. She was really a pretty spider. She was bright and skinny. She lived in many places. I often felt like we played hide and seek. There were times she lived in the kitchen, other times I would find her in my living room! She was always looking for new ways to scare me! I would be content knowing she was in another room, then I would turn around and there she would be, teasing me with her quickness. Sadly to say, Fire has MIA since 03! I hope she is still alive and well out there somewhere. Oh! how I miss Fire!
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-Dangerfield-
Danger was a pet spider whom I will always remember! His stay with our little family was very short lived. He also shared a spot in the corner of my living room. Unfortunately, my cat Sugar Bear did not agree with his tactics of living 'together in harmony'. Danger would dangle his little body from the ceiling for Sugar to see. He would tease her, falling only far enough for her to be tortured with the thought of catching him. I suppose he always lived his life with one web to the wind. One day I awoke, and noticed my friend was also MIA. I interrogated Sugar all day, I believe she knew nothing of Danger's disappearance....maybe he ran off with Fire, I like to believe that anyway!
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-Sam-
Sam came to live with us in November of last year. S/he didn't dare move inside, rather s/he lived outside on the lamp between the two floor of my apartment. Sam was HUGE!!!! Often times I feared walking on those stares...I would go down the back stares and just say hello as I passed by. Sam received a lot of attention from the friends and family who would visit! They all learned my love for the animal and would also greet her by name...also, while leaving would kindly say good night. Unfortunately, Sam's life came to a tragic end. S/he froze to death one frightfully cold night. We took the little body down and buried him (or her) in the soft earth. I still haven't found the strength to forgive myself for not asking Sam to move in with me! Poor Sam.
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There you have it! My 'pet' spiders. As of right now, I have no 'pets' that I am aware of. Then again, I think Boyfriend and Kitty Cat, guard my little heart from them. I think they have seen my disappointment so much they guard me from any more heart ache! Well, I hope if you cannot live with the spiders please find a way to set them free!

Thanks for stopping by:
Nik

Hello to all today:

You're gone for a little while and then when you return you realize everyone has been bearing their soul! So here's mine...hope you guys aren't tired of it yet!

I have no absolute truths. I change my truths from day to day, sometimes from minute to minute.

I'm not on speaking terms with God. We had a really big fight a few years ago and I figured I should take some time to cool off.

I'm scared to death of any type of commitment. Marriage, children, cooking dinner just seems like too much when I sit down and think about it.

I am a people person. I talk to about five strangers a day, and I try to help someone in need everyday. Like someone who is on the side of the road, or a friend brush her hair...whatever works.

I enjoy politics, public speaking, acting on stage, anything when you get to act like someone else.

I believe in evolution. I also believe in most sciences.

I think its the decisions in our lives that defines us.

I enjoy the process of love. The heart pounding, the sweaty palms, the longing and desires. Even the heart ache if its bound to happen.

When I awake from a nightmare I always try to find the man in the moon...that's why I hate it when it rains, because I will be up all night.

The people closest to me have never hurt me. And when someone does hurt me I will always be guarded with them.

I hate that my boyfriend has no idea who I really am.

I am a textbook Scorpio.

I cry often.

I laugh just as much, and with the same passion.

My mother is my best friend!

My passion rules me.

If I were to die today I would want everyone to know that I was happy. My life was blessed and there is nothing I would change.

Looking back I really wouldn't change anything...deep down I love who I am...and so I guess I would just never go back!

Some days I feel beautiful, and some days I feel ugly. So I guess I'm average!

I honestly believe that sometimes we feel pain just to remind us we are still alive.

Wow! now there are some of my truths....
Thanks for stopping by:
Nik

Hello to all today:

Just a story today:

Last night I had a dream. I dreamt that you once again looked into my eyes and felt my soul. It's the same dream I have had over the past few nights.

I long for the time when our love will be seen outside of the dreams. I long for the sun to shine on our desires instead of the night covering the truth. In the night I feel beautiful and alive, but then the sun light shines into my window and my dream is gone for I know that the day has begun.

I think about the dreams and the passion throughout my long day and I cannot wait to close my eyes again. To lay beside your sweet body. To hear the whispers of love in my ear. To feel two heartbeats on my breast. I feel your fingers on my face, and I feel warm throughout all the senses.

I know that this love is a dream! I know that when I awake the dream is over and my life must resume....but just in the night under the cover of stars and planets, I no longer lust for love. I feel it every night as I close my eyes.

Even if I never have another touch from your finger tips. Even if I never feel the soft embrace of your lips. Even if I never see your chest move with my heart beat...I will always see your passion in the night...if only in my dreams!

Thanks for stopping by:
Nik

Hello to all today:

Well lets just jump right into it shall we? I have a question; what if our minds controlled all the feelings and beliefs that we hold? All this up roar about religion and other things left unsaid, has left me to think.

I think that when one truly learns to believe in themselves they learn they can do anything. For example, when a Christian is sick, and they believe in God they pray. Often times that prayer saves them. They call it a miracle, but what if it is their brain that saves them? What if simply believing in something can save you?

Another example is athletes. I have seen football players finish a game with a concussion, and act like they are fine. Because they believe they are fine, their brain gives them the will to move on.

What about the people who have accomplished outstanding feats. Such as a man who lifts a car off of a woman to save her life? These things are impossible right? so explain it. They do not all hold the same religious beliefs! So it can only be the power of the brain!

What if when we really need to believe in something to get us through a tough situation, and then when we do, we learn we can accomplish our goals? Wouldn't that be amazing!

What if we all slowly started to use more than 10% of our brain? Would we all be able to speak to animals? Could we all see the future? Is it really possible to speak to those who have passed over? Is it possible all living things have a connection, and the only thing that keeps us form having this special bond is the desire to be ignorant?

Just makes me wonder what our species is really capable of if we all chose to expand our minds and really explore what we have!

I plan to explore, and I vow to never give up, even when my self- doubt kicks in and I'm scared of what is really out there.

Thanks for stopping by:
P.S. Thanks to my best friend Mex for talking to me about this one! It is one conversation that I will never forget.

Nik