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The simple thoughts


 AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!
 

Hello to all today:

THERE'S A MOUSE IN MY NEW HOUSE. THE CAT HAS FOUND IT!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Thanks for stopping in today:
Nik
Posted by nikki rae at 9:50 AM - 10 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 A world of boxes
 

Hello to all today:



One little, two little, three little boxes.
Four little, five little, six little boxes.
Seven little, eight little, nine little boxes.
TEN little boxes staring at me!

Well I am about to box up my computer. It seems the hardest to box up. No computer nor Internet until 1-4pm on Monday. What is a girl to do?

My kitchen is in boxes.
My office is in boxes (minus the computer).
My bedroom is in boxes.
My bathroom is in boxes (minus the soap and shampoo and toothbrushes and toothpaste and toilet paper and shower curtain and one of my brushes and air freshener....you know just in case!)
My living room is in boxes (minus the couch and sectional and TV).

Tomorrow I put my Sugar Bear in a box also. Poor sugar Bear...I wonder is she knows we are moving. I wonder if she'll revolt and start an anti house war. Maybe not, but one never can tell with kitties these days.

Well I have picked out the clothes I will wear to move in. And the shoes of course...simple ol tennis shoes. Boyfriend will also be wearing a matching outfit, I hope he will not mind. I just think a family who coordinates together stays together.

Well here I go pretty soon I will send this post and will not return until Monday between 1-4pm. Please stand by at that time and make no other plans because you know I will have to arrive within the FOUR HOUR TIME FRAME. I HATE people who say they will be there in a four hour time frame. I guess it could be worse someone could have said "Oh we'll be there sometime on Monday" or "Next week is good for us, how about you?"

Look at me rambling on when there's more boxes to pack. I think the boxes are taking on a life of their own. For some reason the Kitchen boxes haven't befriended the Office boxes and I had to separate them. I think there's a little bit of jealousy because of the sizes and the cost of the boxes themselves. You see while the Office boxes were bought and are pretty large, the Kitchen boxes were picked up at the local liquor store and are pretty small. Well what can one do huh?

Box envy! Who ever would have thought that to be an issue on moving weekend? I guess I could have split up the boxes so each room had an even share in the 'nice' boxes! Next time I will be better prepared.

I guess that's all
Thanks for stopping in today:
Nik
Posted by nikki rae at 4:38 PM - 7 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 What's up
 

Hello to all today:



Sorry about the missing posts but I have been busy beyond repair.

Let me begin by saying that I did very well this semester in school. Came home with four A's and one B-....in German, but that's ok! So school is out for the summer, time to relax huh? NO WAY!!!

Boyfriend and I have just closed on our first house! We are now proud owners of a house. So I have been packing and shopping and such. I have never been this stressed out. In the last week alone I have made myself so sick. Food comes up like twice a day, nerves I guess. Until last night I have only slept close to ten hours in the last week. My friend Fratboy lent me some meds so I slept last night finally! I feel refreshed and decided to finally start packing.

We will be moving in the house on Sunday. We are very excited, but I think my anxiety has caused some caution for Boyfriend, so I am attempting to tone down my emotions.

Yesterday, I went to buy moving boxes and the poor guy selling me boxes had his hands full. I was standing there buying boxes and the guy kept looking at me so I just blew up. "CAN I PLEASE HAVE SOMEONE ELSE HELP ME! THIS GUY IS CREEPING ME OUT!!!" I feel really bad, he was probably just trying to help, but I just blew up.

Then it started raining when I got the boxes home, so I just set on the stairs to my apartment and started crying! I am sure that everyone who came into my path yesterday thought I was loosing my mind.

Well wish me luck and I hope I will post soon.
Miss you guys muches!
Thanks for stopping in today:
Nik

Posted by nikki rae at 4:40 PM - 8 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Paper on Martyrdom
 

Hello to all today:

Well here's my almost finished paper on MARTYRDOM!!!
If you can get through it I would love to hear what you guys think:

Views I have learned on Martyrdom

While I was reading some articles on martyrdom, I have realized that there are many definitions and different ways to interpret the actual acts of martyrdom. Martyrdom is defined by the Marriam-Webster Online Dictionary as being “the suffering of death on account of adherence to a cause and especially to one’s religious faith.” There is no distinction made of which religion would an appropriate source of this type of act, one can only assume that all religions and faiths would have equal right to hold martyrs in their own way. Since I live in America and the overwhelming majority of believers are Christian, I read many articles on Christianity and Martyrdom. In an article composed by Susan Bergman, the claim was made that a “[m]artyr, whose root meaning is witness, was first used in reference to early Christians who were put to death for their confession of faith in one true God. These witnesses expressed not what they had seen with their eyes but what they envisioned in their hearts. They endured their present suffering because of their confidence in God’s ultimate reign on Earth and the hope they placed in a heavenly life to come.” According to this definition a Christian martyr hopes to one day be praised in Heaven for the acts of martyrdom they encounter here on Earth. There is a very large difference in the ways people view martyrs.

For example, Bergman claims martyrs will reap benefits, but Machan claims “A martyr is defined as someone who is willing to endure great suffering, even death, for a cause or principle. Yet the definition lacks something. It does not say that many martyrs expect to reap great rewards after they have suffered or lost their lives.” So which is it I ask? Do those who lay down their lives for their religious beliefs actually receive great rewards in the after life? There is no answer to this question because there is no way of knowing until one dies from this world and continues on in another. A question I think is much more appealing is whether or not one should receive glory here on Earth for an act of martyrdom. Americans are not the only people whom worship the sacrifice of martyrs. In the Middle-East there are many people giving their lives for a cause. Whether we as Americans understand this cause or not, the fact remains, people are dying for their religion and their cause.

But is suicide being a martyr? Suicide is not what I think the issue is about. I think it is about the suicide missions. The fact that one man or woman takes their life for a religious feat is not the real reason this practice is not endorsed in America. It is because the suicide bomber is inflicting pain and often killing others that have American Christians looking at this form of martyrdom as an act of violence. These people inflict terror and hatred into others, and in turn are killing themselves. Many of the suicide bombers are also acting for a gift, or a pardon in Heaven. Bergman quotes Augustine as saying, “The cause, not the suffering, makes genuine martyrs.” So I suppose that if one has a good cause then they will be considered a martyr, even if they lay down their lives in an act of suicide.

As a comparison to the suicide bombers over seas, we Americans forget there have been suicide missions right here in America. Think of the Heaven’s Gate scandal. When all those people sacrificed their lives and committed suicide in the name of God, theories on suicidal martyrdom flew in American culture. While this issue sparked an entire different debate among the Christian community, it did point out the difference in the views of martyrdom. On one hand you have those being hurt by the Church and on the other you have those who are ready to die to reach God. And while the community hides away from the Catholic scandals and wants to forget such a tragedy in their religion, with the Heaven’s Gate suicide, Christians condemn and ridicule. Marty states, “the devout generally believe that God should determine our time of death.” So is this to say that when one (or many in this case) dies, if they chose the ground and the place and the time, then God was not on their side? This act is unacceptable, and they are considered crazy or insane instead of Christians? God will pick the time of death for us all, and I suppose if one commits suicide then that could not be of God’s will, even though God knows all. Have American Christians always viewed suicide as an easy way out?

Changing tactics for a second, I would like to talk about another form of martyrdom. According to Bergman, Gerald Bonner once wrote, “The essential element in martyrdom is not the physical act of dying but rather a disposition of the will to live for Christ, with the necessary corollary that, by a strange but wholly Christian paradox, living for Christ may involve the necessity to lay down one’s life for him.” In the same article Bergman claims Archbishop Thomas Becket says this about martyrdom: “The true martyr, is he who has become the instrument of God, who has lost his will in the will instrument of God, not lost it but found it, for [he] has found freedom in submission to God. The martyr no longer desires anything for himself, not even the glory of martyrdom.” Within this quote I found a very interesting concept. An act. Is this to say when one lays down his or her life they should be recognized as a martyr? Does this definition include not only those who have died, but those who actually live out their lives in a day to day martyrdom?

For example, are teachers, priests, and missionaries considered martyrs? Priests do give their lives to serve their God. Teachers often also give many of their beliefs to teach that which is acceptable. Again, missionaries often give their lives and their money to preach the word. Focusing only on missionaries, they sometimes give up their families, and their culture to carry God’s word to countries who do not hold the same belief. While some of them have died, some have not. The only thing they have to hold on to is their love in God and wanting to reach as many people as possible. Bergman states, “More often, though, a martyr’s determination has been complicated by the layering of political or racial difference over the issue of direct spiritual opposition, and the choice is whether to continue to follow a spiritual call and remain in known danger or to cease, whether to stay in the path of jeopardy or to find another place to serve.” With this being said, I ask when does personal sacrifice, not death, determine the status of martyrdom? When I think of these types of martyrs, I think of Mother Theresa and Ghandi. They both gave so much of themselves and tried to teach not only by word but by example. There is no proof of their purposes to doing such things and giving so much of themselves, but the acts are done, and now we worship them, but do we do so in remembrance of a martyr?

There is still another type of martyr in American society. I personally think they should be considered of the highest martyrs, but many overlook their cause. They are the men and women who suffer endlessly because of status, race, ethnicity, preference in religion or in lovers. Anyone who tells me this is no longer true in America I wish I could spit in their faces.

I read a book entitled Amazing Grace written by Jonathan Kozol. In this book there is a heart aching description of the lives of the poor. The lives of the black. The lives of those who carry the disease of AIDS throughout the day. These poor, black, sickly people do not live in some hidden tavern far away, they live in the segregated part of New York City. They live in the projects where instead of fixing the rotten building the governor chooses to paint clean looking windows on the backs of building so those people passing on the highway cannot see the dirty part of town. In my view these people are martyrs. They are giving their lives because they have no choice. They are being branded and killed off. They are left alone and abandoned by the same government who enforces a declaration on the war on terror. It is funny how in America we can reside so much hate and reservation for those who commit suicide as an act of martyrdom, but we turn our faces from the acts of martyrdom we enforce on our own peoples here in America.

Many Americans consider Martin Luther King a martyr. I wonder if his martyrdom was not only a plot for certain peoples to gain power. Since the time of his murder, I cannot begin to see an improvement in his cause. Yes, there is a slight upward movement, but it is no where near enough, especially for American justice. Decades after his death, we still have restrictions on where one can live, where one can shop, where one can eat, sleep, pray, attend school, and the list continues on. Was Dr. King martyred in vain? Should he continue to hold the martyred status when the true martyrs are those living on streets with his name as an address, and attending the schools named after him?

There are also Americans being persecuted for their sexual relations. When you think this not true look back a few years to that small town of Laramie Wyoming. When in 1998 Matthew Shepard was attacked, beaten, and hanged to a fence to die. This case caused an outcry with the American people. I think if Matthew had died because of a gunshot wound this case would have never been publicized. It was because Matthew was a young gay man, and the fact he died a brutal death that we all remember his story. And his story is not all that different from others who share the same sexual prefrence. It is a story of being an out-cast and abused because of their choices to love differently than the norm in our society.

Within these two very different stories, there is one underlying fact, there are people still in today’s age being persecuted for the way they live and the way they are and the way they believe. Bergman warns, “When we speak of the survivor instead of the victim and of martyrdom instead of murder, regard being gassed as a pattern for dying with dignity, or evoke the redemptive rather than the grievous power of memory, we draw on an arsenal of words that urges us to build verbal fences between the atrocities of the camps and what we are mentally willing-or able–to face.” I think Bergman was referring to the concentration camps the Germans built to yield out the Jews. This quote, however, still applies to Americans and many other nations today. We are a nation with redemption as long as the redemption falls within our own beliefs. We look at the case of Matthew and do not see a martyr because simply enough he was killed for being gay, and many still hold the thought this behavior as a choice not a way of life. In Matthew’s case we see only a victim of a hate crime.

Hate crimes are powerful displays of violence, as are suicide bombers. Americans give such names to these people because we cannot look and see a truth in the violence. We cannot see any honor or faith; therefore, we consider them crimes against the people. We refuse to accept them as martyrs because in our minds they are victims. Contreras-Byrd wrote “being a victim is an experience we as a society have created and collaborate in. Our interpersonal relationships create hierarchical models of interaction in which someone becomes the lesser. We create and accept institutions, policies, and practices that necessitate “silent” partnerships.”

While Americans react and recognize practices such as hate crimes they ignore an even bigger demon such as abuse. In regards to abused women, Contreras-Byrd goes so far as to say, “Abused women are martyrs. They take the words “for better or for worse” frighteningly to heart.” She explains this by adding, “Women who remain in abusive relationships are willing to sacrifice for the sake of another and to love without regard for reciprocity. [ . . . ] Women who stay in abusive relationships are willing to suffer in the hopes that their suffering might somehow become redemptive.” It is fascinating that abused women share the same beliefs and practices as martyred Christians.

Perhaps there is more to martyrdom than “believe[ing] that something matters more than life” (Bergman). For the Christian believers martyrdom may be settled with a simple verse from the Bible, where Jesus claims, “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it” (Matthew 16:25). However, I have found that martyrdom has no borders, and there is no absolute truth to the reason for martyrdom. Perhaps there are martyrs only due to the fact there is hate. And the funny thing is that when there is hate of one thing there is love of the opposition. It is this opposition that makes martyrs. It is this institution of defiance that people die for. It is also change and un acceptance in Americans’ hearts and minds that make martyrs. Martyrdom, in my new opinion is the glorifying of good people who are murdered.

And finally, when looking at martyrdom throughout the ages, I know there is no evidence, but I cannot help but see a certain evil standing in the corner. The evil of change, the evil of power. Are people actually dying for a cause and a prefrence or are they dying in part due to a changing world?

Works Cited Page
The Bible. NIV [New International Version]. Matthew 16:25.

Berman, Susan. “In the shadow of the martyrs: a meditation on the lives of contemporary martyrs. (Part 2).” Christianity Today 40.9 (August 12, 1996): 18(8).

Contreras-Byrd, Melinda. “A living sacrifice: if we would stand against violence toward women, we must rethink not only our cultural acceptance of violence, but also our ideas about suffering, selflessness, and martyrdom.” The Other Side (March/April 2002): 20(5).

Kozol, Jonathan. Amazing Grace: The Lives of Children and the Conscience of a Nation. New York: Crown, 1995.
Machan, Tibor R. “Martyrdom, True and False.” Free Inquiry (Winter 2001): 13.

Marriam-Webster Online. Http://www.m-w.com

Marty, Martin E. “Playing with fire: looking at Heaven’s Gate.” The Christian Century 114.13 (April 16, 1997): 379(2).

Thanks for stopping in:
Nik
Posted by nikki rae at 5:48 PM - 19 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 My reading!
 

Hello to all today:

I hope you guys remember that on vacation with boyfriend I had a psychic reading done for me. I want to tell you guys what was said!



Please remember that I am only repeating what I can remember and I am sorry if it feels rushed!

An unhealthy friend:
There is a black haired girl I go to school with who is not to trusted, and I should get her out of my life before she does real damage to my spirit!

Marriage:
I will get married, but there is no rush and as long as I stay patient I should be married in three to five years!

Changing majors:
The decision I made to change majors from psychology to education will work out good for me and it will prove to bring me much more happiness.

Buying a house:
I need to buy and build as much as I possibly can right now!

On moving west:
I will move in the next few years to Cal. or maybe Az. It will be a business move not for me but for boyfriend possibly and I am going to support and be happy.

On children:
There are three children in my future. One girl and TWIN boys! (when she said that I thought I was going to get sick)

On family:
My personal family I need to distance myself from because they do not mean to do good by me. They do not want me to move ahead, it makes them sad. She also said that I need to learn how I really feel and stop taking on the responsibility of their issues. I cannot fix anything, and quiet frankly my family doesn't want to be fixed, so I need to just let go and live for myself, otherwise I fall into the same depression trap.

On Adam:
She said there is an older man who was very close to me who died when I was a teenager who left me his strength. She described Adam and said that he left me the gift of strength years ago because he knew I would need it most.

On my past:
Lets just say everything was true!

On God:
She said I need to get back into the Church, and I need to find God again. She said he hasn't left me and he waiting for me to come back to finish out his plan with my life. Apparently he has many plans for my life. She also said the first time I go, I need to go alone.

In general:
There is no illness or sickness close to me and boyfriend. I will only find happiness when I get away from jealousy...she said I am surrounded by jealousy and need to distance myself. She said the choices I have made have been good, but I should stop being so moody, and let boyfriend just love me!

All in all a very positive reading. Glad I could share it with you guys!



Thanks for stopping in!
Nik
Posted by nikki rae at 7:15 PM - 5 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
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  About Me
Author: nikki rae
From Nashville, TN, USA
 
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This blog is about serious thoughts that jog through my brain in about 5 minutes a day
 
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