Hello to all today:
Well I have been quit a busy bee lately. But I have a bone to pick and since I cannot share my views with the people who deserve it, I will share the bone with you!
What is up with friendships? I just moved into the house and now I have neighbors who think they are my best friends. What ever happened to "getting to know one another"? How can someone spend two or three weeks together and decide this is it this is my new best friend and I want to spend every WAKING moment with them?
I can count on one hand people I consider friends! One of them I have known since my birth, another is my sister, another lives in another state and it took us YEARS to develop our friendship, and another is my sweet lover bear.
My point is...why do I have to be rushed into friendship? It's almost like some people feel if they die and my name is not on their list of BFF then they will not be complete. That's a little harsh I know...so cross that from the record. It's just that I am very complex and I do NOT like to be BFF with everyone I meet. I may like to get my nails done and I may like to go swimming and I may like to workout, however, I also may like to do it on my own.
I am friendly but I am not very sensitive, and if I just meet you and you throw all your troubles my way I will set them neatly (so you can pick them up again) on the floor. I will also walk away with no explanation and NEVER talk to you again.
How do you tell someone that they are moving too fast in the friendship? How do you tell someone you like them, but don't want to spend the next four years on family vacations? How do you tell someone...yes I like to workout but the FOUR HOURS A DAY I DO BY MYSELF IS ENOUGH AND I DO NOT WANT TO WORKOUT WITH YOU?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Thanks for stopping in today:
Nik
Some people are just so needy that they cling to the first person who shows ANY interest in them. We have to have all persons respect our "space." We can only do so by telling them when they have invaded it. We must tell them in a way that is clear and effective. We must know how to answer every person.
Great thought.
thanks for the sweet comment. I guess I just have to grow up and realize there are times when you just cannot help but avoid hurting people's feelings
Thanks for the sweet comments though
Nik
Thanks for the comment and BTW I just adore the caption
Nik
Good fences keep good neighbors....is that the saying?
Getting too close to neighbors too quickly is a bad idea. I live in a condo. I have lived here for 19 years when they were built and all the woman were Best Friends at first and it just turned sour after years. Now we who remain are older and try not to get too close.
You are right with your instincts to take a step back. You don't need any excuses....just be yourself.
Love ya
Lucy
I guess it all depends on the individual as to how you deal with it. I need to be direct.
Sounds to me like you always behave polite and thinking that saying no is not correct.
There are times when we need to say NO for invitations or others people company. We sometimes expect that other should know that we wanna have our private time. Not true. So saying thanks but I have a different plan or thanks but No coz i wanna do this now ,will just show that you are honest person with correct values
Taegugki
We have so many emotionally-needy people out there - some of them individuals who have no relatives living nearby and who belong to no social organizations. But I agree with you; I choose my friends very carefully, and I don't want to get too chummy too quickly. Sometimes, I just want to be alone.
You have to set your boundaries and stick to them with folks who encroach on your personal time and space...
It's your life... you just let others know your rules and all will work out.
You know, Nicole, there are so many disconnected people in the country these days. Many with no families or roots to speak of. Detached, empty, lonely, lost. Those sorts really need to latch on to anyone that will make them feel more a part of life.
It's been my experiences that those sorts of folks invariably become incredibly clingy. Either that or they are constantly borrowing this or that and have needs other than emotional. Either way you end up being set-up and eventually used.
In these sorts of situations the onus is, unfortunately, on you. It's up to you to keep your guard up and to keep up your subtle shield of not letting anyone get too close. Invariably those sorts of relationships end amidst tremendous trauma. Best not go there in the first place, but you already know all this stuff.
Good question, interesting post.